


Shopping

by totalizzyness



Series: 00Q Prompts [34]
Category: James Bond (Craig movies), James Bond (Movies), Skyfall (2012) - Fandom
Genre: Established Relationship, James doesn't appreciate it, M/M, Prompt Fic, Q is hilarious
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-25
Updated: 2013-05-25
Packaged: 2017-12-12 23:10:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/817158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/totalizzyness/pseuds/totalizzyness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Bond and Q go shopping</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shopping

Bond let out a groan, slumping over the handle of the trolley, careful of how he distributed his weight so it didn’t tip over. Q had insisted he join him with the shopping, because he needed someone big and strong to carry the bags home. Bond stared blankly at the selections of spaghetti hoops whilst Q tapped at his phone, checking the list he’d compiled.

Smirking, Bond picked up the tin with little sausages in too and dropped it into the trolley. Not even looking up from his phone, Q sighed and reached in, picking up and tin and put it back on the shelf.

“I do think we’ve progressed past spaghetti hoops, James.”

“They had little sausages in.”

“I’m sure your diet doesn’t allow for tinned meals.”

“How would you know?”

“If you’re going to be childish, might I suggest the Thomas the Tank shaped spaghetti?”

Bond just grinned, grabbing the tin and dropped it into the trolley. “Perfect.”

Q tried his best not to grin at his boyfriend’s childish antics, not wanting to encourage him. “That had better not sit in the cupboard until it goes off.”

“I’ll have it for tea tonight. With some toast.”

“Shall we see if Um Bongo’s on offer? Complete your foray into childhood?”

“Go for it. Get some Monster Munch, too.”

Q finally broke and laughed, hitting Bond’s arm playfully. “Seriously, James.”

Bond smirked. “Can we hurry up then?”

“Fine, come along.”

Nodding, Bond followed behind Q, steering the trolley through the aisles of other shoppers, mindlessly watching Q pluck things from the shelves, placing them carefully in the trolley, making sure the heavier products were on the bottom.

“I don’t understand why you don’t just shop online. It seems like the sort of thing you’d prefer,” Bond sighed, watching Q decide between orange juice with bits or without.

“If it wasn’t so shit, I would. They mess up everything. Order a pint of milk and get six instead, in a bottle that won’t fit in the fridge. If they don’t have something they replace it with something random. I ordered cornflakes once, instead of giving me another cereal, they gave me pasta shells. It’s just less hassle doing your shopping yourself. Not to mention the way they pack the shopping is atrocious; who in their right mind packs tomatoes with a selection of tins? There was pulp all over my kitchen floor.”

Bond chuckled, snatching the bitless carton of orange juice and put it in with the rest of the shopping. He was eager to get home and relax, and they hadn’t even covered half of the shop. Q rolled his eyes and walked on, torn between dragging the shopping out just to watch James suffer, and hurrying up so he wouldn’t have to deal with his lover’s complaining.

“Do you know how horribly domestic this is?” Bond asked, still slouched over the trolley.

“I’m vaguely aware, yes,” Q replied, holding on the end of the trolley so James couldn’t drive it into him.

“I should be off in exotic locations doing dangerous missions… If you flew you’d be there by my side.”

“Oh no, normal people things, how will you cope with the mundanity?”

“Exactly.”

“What will people think when they find out you wash your clothes and don’t just buy new ones after wearing them?”

James scowled. “You can stop mocking me now.”

“No thanks. I think I’ll make a twitter account, and tweet every first world problem you moan about.”

“What?”

“Ran out of authentic Colombian coffee, now I’ll have to send someone to get me some more. Hashtag-life-is-cruel.”

James stared at Q, thoroughly unamused. Q grinned.

“Hotel lied about the thread-count of their Egyptian cotton sheets. Next thing I’ll be told the champagne isn’t complimentary. Hashtag-five-star-my-arse.”

“Q.”

“Oh come on! That last one was one hundred and forty characters exactly!”

“Are you done?”

“Maybe?”

“Can we get the shopping and go?”

Q huffed indignantly, leading the way to the next aisle, irritated his comic genius went unappreciated by James. They both wandered up and down the aisles, not saying anything to each other that wasn’t to do with what they were buying. James wordlessly slipped two bottles of vodka into the trolley, giving Q a challenging look when he quirked an eyebrow. Shrugging, Q wandered off, leaving Bond to follow at his own pace. He’d just rounded the corner Q had gone down when he was stopped abruptly at the sight of his lover carrying six boxes of Twinings in his arms. Q just grinned and dropped them into the trolley, Bond looking at him like he’d lost the plot.

“Are they on offer, or…?”

“Nope. Just in case.”

“Of what?!”

Q shrugged. “Zombie apocalypse? Tea shortage? Queen’s visit?”

“You’re just doing this to annoy me, aren’t you.”

“Perhaps.”

“Are we done? Can we go?”

“We’ve got to pay first, but yes.”

Bond let out a sigh, making a start towards the tills. “I’m never shopping with you again. You can just deal with tomato pulp over your floor from now on.”


End file.
